Baked Alaska has nothing on melting Florida this summer.

Welcome to the dog days of summer.....

Welcome to the dog days of summer…..

Ha! This state has put Hell out of business. Now, if a person lives a routinely horrid life, the Devil merely sends them to Florida to spend out their time as a sand flea.

It’s so hot in Florida even the bugs have slowed to a crawl…

Floridians go to indoor sauna’s to cool off.

Ya don't wanna get stuck in traffic.....

Ya don’t wanna get stuck in traffic…..

I’ll never think of a good lookin’ gal as being  hot any more…Ha! Not!! Anyway, the outside temps here in the land of the palms have given the word hot a scorching new threshold, a plethora of sizzling platitudes: way hot; fried and fired up; burned out; back draft day; blistering baby; no touch day and hell’s breath day to name a few.

Wanna lose weight? Blitzkrieg your way to Florida from up north. Stand outside a few hours then go back home. You’ll be amazed by what a difference few bazillion degrees can make. Then again, there’s an upside to the heat. Think of the money to be saved by cooking on the sidewalk, though who’ll be left alive to eat the food? As I get it, maybe only sharks.*

 more good news--Floridan roads haven't melted like they have in India-not yet.

more good news–Floridian roads haven’t melted like they have in India-not yet.

Nudist throw in the towel and run for cover.

Be sure to turn that door knob with your gloved hand and bring a diver’s oxygen tank into your car when driving.

Florida should change its name to IV central. The ants have burrowed to China; the roaches have flown to the Himalaya’s. KKK members have quit burning torches and decided to throw ice parties instead.  The last remaining umbrella in Florida was sold one hour and ten minutes ago. Sad.

So yeah, hitting forty below up at Lake Bonaparte, New York, during the winter is not perfect, but jumping over forty degrees above Hell heat in Florida during the summer is centrally unnerving as well. Freeze or fry, that’s the question McDonald employees ask as they hand out driving directions to the north into the hands of liquified tourist who dribble up alongside their window.

Idea man strikes again!

Idea man strikes again!

Come to think of it, the Floridian afternoon showers are such a blessing when they do come that they create the perfect time for state-wide wet tee shirts contests! Where or where is our state leadership in this one? At least the students at U of F have an idea.**

student skip the wet tee shirt idea and run for a fountain....

students skip the wet tee-shirt idea and run for a fountain in their undies….

Singing in the Rain should be Florida’s state song.

Check out a beach scene in Florida before AC hit the fan----thankfully, our society came to its senses for a bit before we went nuts-again.

Check out a beach scene in Florida before AC hit the fan—-thankfully, our society came to its senses for a bit before we went nuts-again.

Times have changed….

But I still miss the hats!

But I still miss the hats!

So yeah….Floirda cooks in the summer.-

Franque23

*http://www.businessinsider.com/sharks-found-swimming-near-active-underwater-volcano-2015-7

**http://www.alligator.org/news/campus/image_581191b4-0e9f-5442-b1e7-449c37c7044d.html

here are links for both of my books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are on kindle now.
Advertisements