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(Click the pic for a larger view.)

Anyone who knew me as a kid knows it’s an astoundingly, flabbergasting, jaw-dropping, stupefying surprise that I’m a father. Sure, I had a future even a wrong turn could help back then, but it also was clear from the get-go that another planet was, in fact, my home. I lived spaced out most of the time.

Still, there has always been a Father in me.

A fishing Grandpa….who knew?

 

Basically, my kid-self was a walking brain dent.

School was torture, a work around looking to happen, though girls were annoyingly interesting. Sports became my ticket to skate by on in high school. Next came a spin as class VP.  I spent a zillion hello’s on friends passing in school halls like a pseudo-millionaire with no money.

The politician in me continued to thrive through my non-formative years of college.

As a sophomore, the college paper deemed me, Apple Gerry, with a front page picture that showed me ranting about student dorm rights. Soon, I was appointed by the graduating head of , Group X, to be this organization’s next President. Now, Group X had two major agendas. First, our group wanted , ‘open,’ dorms with visiting rights for both men and women 24/7. (Seems my younger interests stuck with me). Secondly, we wanted visiting rights for women in the men’s dorms.  I know, these two agendas seem the same, but agenda two left men out of female dorms. Underlying our two hot pulsing agenda’s were rumors I made sure spread that Group X would host off campus beer parties. It all worked great until those beer parties took effect which is why I don’t remember how long Group X survived and when or why it ended…

Not to be detoured, my free-fallin’, dancing, singing self landed me a membership pre-facto of Phi-Kappa-Phi since I refused to go thru hazing but was made an off-the-record member of the fraternity house anyway. It was a great, wild , short year of being reprimanded by the College Administration. Before our house knew it, women weren’t allowed in our second story where the beds were, so, yeah, we moved all the beds down to the basement and slept there and stuff. This pissed Admin off but it wasn’t until we held a beer-bed floating party in the basement with strippers from Baltimore as hosts that our house got shut down! I mean, completely closed for a year!!! Can you imagine?!?! Of course, I had very little to do with any of this that I remember.

My successful political days weren’t over, but it was time for those college days to fog into post college days of running naked in the Ocala National Forest, jumping naked off lime pits east of Gainesville with 300 hundred others on any given Saturday afternoon and strolling by police cars while at a nude block party on NE 1st street here in Gainesville.  I know, I know, you’re thinking I was a nudist but, no, I wore clothes to job interviews and stuff all the time.

(Clothes on! This is the site of many Bonaparte late night ,’Chunky-dunks,’ but we can’t beat Ireland’s recent Guinness book world record-breaking 2500 nude swimmers at once!)*

All that college,’Fog,’ cleared into pot smoke that guided my way for a few more zillion years as I grew older without growing up. There’s a pill to take for that, but I forget the color!

Next thing I knew, my ears pretty much got too long for my face and my children stole my hair.

I remember waking up one day and staring into the mirror realizing very little.

I’d set down my principles and forgotten where they were unless I tripped over them while changing diapers. It was nifty earning money that was really other people’s money if I made it to the power company on time to keep the lights on. I was consumed with successful failure without notice or care but for my family. I have to say, that bunch got my attention.

I suppose it’s true to say one baby led to another and then another which led to seven others—so far.

(Here’s five of them being still all at once!?!?!)

But through it all I maintained my hat wearing image with uniquely obtuse discernment, a finesse of in-depth leadership and control.

Clearly, this is not me , but a look-a-like! Aaron is, however, wearing my glasses!!! Have you ever noticed children love to wear glasses, but that’s never good for the glasses?

As it turns out, I like to grow things, whether it be debates on issues (have you noticed), babies, grand children, properties, gardens and wrinkles….

Click the pic to see the start of hat construction and the  wrinkle lines I spent hours, days, weeks, heck, years putting on my face!!

I’m not sure what ticket I would have been on if you told me back in high school that I’d end up a  paper bag hat wearing, wrinkled eared, laughing Grandpa. Maybe, the one to the fast train to Berkeley or the over-life sleeper to the deep woods of Canada.

Yep. Throughout the laughs there was a Father in me after all. Man, this is great; a nice surprise, indeed. Who knew I had a plan all along? Me!

(This is my brother-in-law and his wife and me with my wife standing in front of what we believe was the location of my wife’s ancestor’s home. They were hat makers in Denton, England. I was making leather hats in a barn in Gainesville in the 1970’s when my wife first moved in with me! See? That’s called a plan:-)

Franque23

*https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/11/europe/irish-women-record-breaking-skinny-dip-intl/

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I recently read that ten heads explode everyday from not reading at least three Meme’s per day. It’s a fact; I’ve already gone back in the bathroom and checked on that wall again. However, there’s no mention about the size or shape of the Meme-that’s troublesome.

What?

What?

To compare me to what I once was you’d simply have to have a very good memory and a bunch of mirrors. Looking back, my fellow employees once asked if they should nominate me for Survivor. Now, that show might consider me if they needed a drift wood prop.

Often, learning a bit of history can teach an ear -full.

Once, there was this guy….

I'm saving my expanding hand made paper hat we bought in the Bahama's for tomorrow....

None of this should be allowed…WTH happened?

(In case you missed the lead up..this post from 2010 is funny-promise. …https://franque23.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/40-in-a-25-mhp-zone/)

Decaying, ruinated, defunctafied, squishated, flatasided, finishatored and donered-that’s me at 67 going on 100. If my asthma gives me a breath, my splitting fingers still find the sharp end of a hook. My eyes can’t see the stairs I fell down and my bursitis-afied knees feel almost better for the fall. I’d duck to see this all coming-as if. This bent over twig of a frame of mine would snap in two at the thought. Then there’s my center of gravity belly issue-what the hell is that? Some alternate dysfunctional bizzaro universe has landed upon me and absorbed the middle of me.

wife pointing to he middle of the problem

wife pointing to the middle of the problem

Thought may be the worst problem of all, if I could remember one?  Somewhere in my house is a drawer full of dusty, moldy ol’ thoughts that are completely deadified. But there’s a bright side for those who are not yet 67: you’re not yet 67, end of story…*

Oh, I’m not bitter about being this old. Please don’t get me wrong. Harsh, haggard, burnt to beyond crispy, horrified by old pictures, I used to wear turtlenecks not be them, a craggy, draggy,  bottomed butt roast with skinny chicken legs, a funny mole farm with no hair, no grip but ton’s of gripes, a loose cannon of dropping balls and feet that wouldn’t feel a rhino step on them, yes, I’m all that ,but not ever bitter. Bitter would be way extreme.

Turkey neck for sale....it took two to hold me up for the shot....

Turkey neck for sale….it took two to hold me up for the shot….

So all you new fangled people under 67-don’t say I didn’t write on the wall-check the three-way bathroom stalls-it’s all there. Simon once wrote, “It’s all happening at the zoo.” There’s a sense of humor for ya. My zoo is sorta centralized like my weather report-hazy, foggy, unwanted precipitation, cold, hot, random gusts of flatulence accompanied by belching sounds all out of tune with my ringing ears.  Head’s-up! Those ding-dong sounds on the T.V. are actually words-go figure.

It really isn’t that bad; once you’ve lost about everything, then your mind goes. What’s to worry when every day’s a new day and every face, place, word, thought, fart or burp is  new, too! Greetings to my old friends who ever the hell you are! Let’s party, dance, maybe romance (try to remember those kinds of September) or maybe, just party-skip the dance- or sit on the couch to talk before we need the potty, or even better, let’s nap. Yes, stay home and nap at 67-it’s easier than trying to recall how to dress.

I remember being able to tie my shoes and stuff

I remember being able to tie my shoes and stuff( Lake Bonaparte.) I could even go out in a boat and make it back by myself!

Example: I once knew a guy (me) who went to the beach, like three days ago, and pulled down his shorts to go swimming before recalling  he meant to wear his suit under his shorts….if only. Fortunately, there were no witnesses who didn’t see.  Remember those dropping balls I mentioned? I signed autographs most the afternoon-no wait, were those police and lawyers/ I forget-**

Franque23

Me! In another life with a big fish.

Me! In another life with a big fish.

*Of course, I couldn’t leave turning sixty out……enjoy- https://franque23.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/60-my-speed-limit/

** Okay, I did have my boxer’s on so even asking to sign autographs didn’t work. People are soooo demanding these days.


You know the type- the annoying workmate that smiles even in the morning, lends you two helping hands when all you asked for was one, continually makes the day better and makes you forget you wish it were over. I’m surrounded by the type-turkey’s every one of them.12279013_10208140762667012_8713307563898335197_n (1)

Odette’s turkey hat craft tortured old and young alike this year.AlachuaCountyLibraryDowntown_100kW

http://www.aclib.us/headquarters(link-a-dink to the Alachua County Library district.)The main, Headquarter’s branch is a big deal building, housing over 250,000 items, visited by 3,000 people on a slow day and checking out over 1 million items per year.

Sometimes, I just have to put one foot in front of the other and drag myself in to work with our rafter of Youth Service people. Imagine the whole flock being made up of people who like to help others on a daily basis, and it only gets worse. These liberrians( from the often used pronunciation, most seem to think we grow on trees.) like to share information, read, laugh, smile-never yell-stay pleasant, think proactively, design endless displays, tell stories during elaborate story hours presented throughout the county, and they like to nibble. Real Gobblers this group. In fact, I think we should call one table inside our office the official, Nibble Table-wait, the entire office-The Nibble Office. Better. In all, it’s a disgusting display of happiness around here-a nightmare montage of good feelings I must navigate through every working hour!

This is giving me an idea…..

images (23) Ya know how we have all those happy days like Thanksgiving, the Holidays(code for Christmas) Thank God for Parents day(wait-do we have one of these?) Anyway….what we need around here is an official crappy day -a cathartic day of the year, one left open for only complaints, grips, groans, pukey ideas, grumbling and saying what’s on our mind day. We could call it, The Colossal Crappy Day. But why stop at one, when we could have,say,,, four a year?!?!?!

Right now,  what’s amazing is that this post has nothing in it that even closely resembles what I meant to write about. No, this post is about the Library building I put on display, how much awful fun it was creating, and how many patrons regrettably enjoy it.12195848_1049487265082047_5704119365050262721_n

So yeah, it’s like a doll house, you can even find stacks of books and stuff by looking into the side windows or into the second story window.12191492_1049487311748709_2641903970150508098_n

I’m using the bright reflective neon paper that’s attached to the backside of the trees to get the added fall reflection look.

12065708_1049487268415380_1140104192380908343_n

Have trees, have squirrels*(God’s motto.)…Well,  one thing’s certain-this squirrel’s not the only one who has a bunch of nuts around him.

red team winners

I ask you! Who are these people!

And my director(she’s really my supervisor, but, shhh, don’t mention that to her) keeps thinking of more to do, more to eat and stuff.1965012_786280751406619_7639099478551129472_n

She keeps an eye on me.

11073001_10206382344667661_2894807218142997118_n

And really, all the gals I work with wear a bunch of hats on a daily basis- it’s that do this, do that, get stuff done attitude they all don that screws up many perfectly good, non-productive days.

11111600_10207006062780224_3249618924229311604_n

Personally, I have to ask, why so many hats? It’s only one job!?!?!

securedownload (8)

I’m your basic one hat sort of guy, period. (Pay no attention to the stuffed animals, puppets, clown shoes, tinsel or that other hat on my desk.)

securedownload-7 (1)

Okay, also pay no attention to maybe a second hat, or four, or the Grinch, the moose, the royal carriage, and the winged Pegasus you can’t see to boot. There, that’s as far as I take it-the rest is all hard work; end of story-sorta. Let the others do all the miserable laughing.

Merry Thanksgiving anyway, and enjoy the turkey’s-I do.

Franque23

horse_head_squirrel_feeder_1 (1)

Time to eat.

Book one of the Avatar magic Trilogy, Avatar Magic, and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic, and the final book of this trilogy, Survival, are on kindle now. Please enjoy this Sci-fi romance. I hope you buy the books; I hope you enjoy reading the books; I hope you will review the books; I hope you will share the books.

Book One: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0NYO80
Book Two: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXMIIOK

Book Three: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B018RX67BW

 

 

 

 

 


Baked Alaska has nothing on melting Florida this summer.

Welcome to the dog days of summer.....

Welcome to the dog days of summer…..

Ha! This state has put Hell out of business. Now, if a person lives a routinely horrid life, the Devil merely sends them to Florida to spend out their time as a sand flea.

It’s so hot in Florida even the bugs have slowed to a crawl…

Floridians go to indoor sauna’s to cool off.

Ya don't wanna get stuck in traffic.....

Ya don’t wanna get stuck in traffic…..

I’ll never think of a good lookin’ gal as being  hot any more…Ha! Not!! Anyway, the outside temps here in the land of the palms have given the word hot a scorching new threshold, a plethora of sizzling platitudes: way hot; fried and fired up; burned out; back draft day; blistering baby; no touch day and hell’s breath day to name a few.

Wanna lose weight? Blitzkrieg your way to Florida from up north. Stand outside a few hours then go back home. You’ll be amazed by what a difference few bazillion degrees can make. Then again, there’s an upside to the heat. Think of the money to be saved by cooking on the sidewalk, though who’ll be left alive to eat the food? As I get it, maybe only sharks.*

 more good news--Floridan roads haven't melted like they have in India-not yet.

more good news–Floridian roads haven’t melted like they have in India-not yet.

Nudist throw in the towel and run for cover.

Be sure to turn that door knob with your gloved hand and bring a diver’s oxygen tank into your car when driving.

Florida should change its name to IV central. The ants have burrowed to China; the roaches have flown to the Himalaya’s. KKK members have quit burning torches and decided to throw ice parties instead.  The last remaining umbrella in Florida was sold one hour and ten minutes ago. Sad.

So yeah, hitting forty below up at Lake Bonaparte, New York, during the winter is not perfect, but jumping over forty degrees above Hell heat in Florida during the summer is centrally unnerving as well. Freeze or fry, that’s the question McDonald employees ask as they hand out driving directions to the north into the hands of liquified tourist who dribble up alongside their window.

Idea man strikes again!

Idea man strikes again!

Come to think of it, the Floridian afternoon showers are such a blessing when they do come that they create the perfect time for state-wide wet tee shirts contests! Where or where is our state leadership in this one? At least the students at U of F have an idea.**

student skip the wet tee shirt idea and run for a fountain....

students skip the wet tee-shirt idea and run for a fountain in their undies….

Singing in the Rain should be Florida’s state song.

Check out a beach scene in Florida before AC hit the fan----thankfully, our society came to its senses for a bit before we went nuts-again.

Check out a beach scene in Florida before AC hit the fan—-thankfully, our society came to its senses for a bit before we went nuts-again.

Times have changed….

But I still miss the hats!

But I still miss the hats!

So yeah….Floirda cooks in the summer.-

Franque23

*http://www.businessinsider.com/sharks-found-swimming-near-active-underwater-volcano-2015-7

**http://www.alligator.org/news/campus/image_581191b4-0e9f-5442-b1e7-449c37c7044d.html

here are links for both of my books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are on kindle now.

Did I always love hats? How do I know? But I do remember way back, and loving those ear flap hats my mom plopped on my head during winter…. At work we sometimes wear hats to help cheer us up, or maybe scare patrons so they tow the line…”No running!” Said the Library person in the weird hat.(BTW-don’t miss link at bottom to a bunch of hat sayings..*)10431400_10204057350304255_8831791732302296920_o Hats serve many functions. Here, below, a woman is hoping to help the bee and bird population. 3-Fashions-For-Spring-Washington-D.C.-1952f This woman may feel there are too many birds-can’t tell. But she needs wide doorways which is good carpenters.

Day two of Royal Ascot at Ascot Racecourse Featuring: Atmosphere Where: Ascot, United Kingdom When: 19 Jun 2013 Credit: WENN.com

Day two of Royal Ascot at Ascot Racecourse

Back in 1916 in Union Square-every man,woman and child wore hats…..What the hell happened to all those hats? I know. Sometime, a while back, a cowboy lost his hat and the sun burned his brain. Thing is, since he was the only one not wearing a hat, women went wild over him and had a bunch of his kids. Those kids had others, and before you know it, no one was wearing hats! This is a history most don’t know. You are welcome. emma-goldman_custom-582dd7d26710d1cc8524e8f94667bc36a1fdbf96-s1100-c15 (1) I love hats, and may have gotten this love from my mom who always looked great in hats-even silly hats. My wife’s mom was no stranger to hats, as well. Mom and Annette My supervisor has a knack for hats, too….( I have to write this-she’s my supervisor.) 1965012_786280751406619_7639099478551129472_n Me? I’ve worn a lot of different hats in my life,,,but that’s another bunch of stories, some already in this blog over the past 6 years.. 58070002 (500x427) I think people look good in hats. Hats can make a man hungry. !B9R9zD!EWk-$(KGrHqJ,!hYEze!PSTv6BM5VspRw1w--0_35 Maybe, crazy. Who wants mustard on their hot dog hat–that is just nuts. Funny_hat Boys will be boys like hats……Oh boy! Can I wear one of those? bearskin-hats They fit almost any fashion and attract attention. 6a015391975ac3970b015391e715db970b Men and women look good in hats…… al-capone some better than others. My workmates kill hats, Boom, excellent hat people. I love it! 10500375_842057679162259_7780775909333439958_n Some hats mean a lot….. 550728_10151712308875548_543007003_n Big Wigs gave way to Tall Hats Isambard_Kingdom_Brunel_preparing_the_launch_of_'The_Great_Eastern_by_Robert_Howlett_crop This is a special hat I bought in the Bahamas…It’s made of paper, and expands to any shaped head…The wind passes through it so it stays on any head, shades, and it’s very light weight…plus, it almost passes as a sculpture. 10438149_785794914788536_8051223962885830439_n Too bad I look like cow dung in it. Gotta love that hat. And a small collection others to my right. Told you-I like hats. securedownload (7) This is a gentleman’s hat, a beautiful hat, but this pic doesn’t do it justice. However, catch the stove top hat I made from paper on left of shot…. securedownload (8) securedownload Some hats just work. lisa-fonssagrives-lilly-dache-hat-irving-penn-vogue-feb-15-1950 Please don’t back up into me….. 10003197_10202770694244049_1669300592_n Another normal hat extravaganza at work- mom on the lake Told you my mom looked good in hats… snowmanwithdad Everyone should have a hat, saith the snow man. Even my brother loved hats, and he was super smart.1385356_10151989437744133_493973661_nHats about it for now….cheers to you and your hat. By the way, there’s a book called, The Man who Thought His Wife Was a Hat..(I think)..but it’s not so funny, since he really did. Anywho….byeee. Got any pictures of you in hats.? I mean, not just in hats-please. And, now that I brought this up…why is this last picture coming up on google when I search for people in hats?????-Bonus(or some other word here) picture,,,download (9) Honest,,this came up in images under the search….so I keep looking for a hat in the picture…looking,looking,looking-no hat?

Franque23 is a hat guy

*http://www.villagehatshop.com/content/40/hat-isms-hat-sayings-and-phrases.html

here are links for both of my books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are on kindle now.

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