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I’ve spent most of my life wishing I could be a weatherman. Then, it dawned on me!The job’s not a breeze after all. My dream evaporated. Sure, weather reporters are wrong half the time and still get paid—what other job would allow that—but there’s more to it.

who knew the job could be so tough.

Who knew the job could be so tough.

Thing is, every weather person has to work two jobs for the pay of one-weather reporter and comedian. It’s a rip off job—a whirlwind, downdraft of a career. Yes, weather reporting is a stand up comedy routine done under the umbrella of a weather report. It’s all a snow job in front of a green board.Worse, every weather reporter in Northern Florida has been telling the same joke for the past seven days…

“Cloudy with lightning and rain…” You get the newspaper picture-the tearing cloud as lightning strikes from it. Everyday for a week it’s been the same symbol. rainlightn2_7187Ha!If someone blew smoke in your eyes, then you’ve seen clouds here-that’s about it. Talk about a depression.

It’s just not fair! Weather reports shower us with a blizzard of blustery probabilities.c1920x1080_4

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes high pressure systems come in pairs.

Can you imagine a car mechanic saying, “Your car has a 60% chance of making it to your home.”

BBC-weatherman-006

Weather reporting is an art….Circles, lines….neat.

But, I guess dealing a slight chance of scattered truth for a living has to create some pressure, a supersaturated vortex of inversions within the soul, or knot.

It will be hot today...

It will be hot today…

Weather reporters spend one half of their professional career wrecking lives.

And maybe marriages....

And maybe marriages….

There’s no way to count the number of ruined parties, picnics, drug deals and boat parades that have been destroyed by bad weather reporting. What about children’s hopes for school closings that get crammed in dumpsters along with unfinished homework? Lover’s leaps may have been canceled and wet tee-shirts have stayed dry all due to blow-hard, muggy, muddy predictions that drizzle from weatherman’s smiles. Basically, the job’s a tsunami of screw-ups-one wave after another of highs and lows. One day you feel like a nut, the next day you are.

Fact: weather-people try to stay under the radar. Others undress, hoping listeners become watchers and won’t remember they forecast a heat wave.

Top of the morning to ya!

Top of the morning to ya! Wait, it is hot!

It’s almost certain that wherever you live there will be bunnies

Didn't Monty Python warn us about the rabbit?

Didn’t Monty Python warn us about the rabbit?

And beauty in the world to see, rain or shine.

206793_1996109107419_6892592_nI predict whenever you go, Oita’s Monky Mountian will have monkeys on it rain or shine. (Japan.)

 

Basically, we should all cheer up! There’s weather ahead.

Go Green?

Go Green? Maybe, that’s the silver lining….

Have a nice day!

Franque23

 

 

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Though I may agree with some of Forbes’ top 25 picks for places to retire, I still think they’re trying to kill us. They just can’t decide if  retirees will look better stuffed in a refrigerator or buried in a sand box..  There’s at least three desert towns in the mix plus Pittsburgh is ranked 19-and Fargo is number 13!!!!

Someone caught this gal practicing for retirement .

She'll fit nicely.

She’ll fit nicely.

Home-sweet- home can't get much quieter !

Home-sweet- home can’t get much quieter ! And, apparently, there may be golf!

Really? Fargo! Where dead bodies roll like snowballs across the landscape-I mean, that movie was real, right? If not, then the winter temperatures out there are cold enough to kill thermometers. People? They’re the negative sense of toast.

freeze your whatevers off.

freeze your whatevers off.*

For me, the older I get the more guys sitting on park benches make sense.It’s not like those park benches will be there forever, and some one has got to use them.

Oh man–have I got an idea for retirement …..

images (23)

I can move up to Forbes # 13 on the list , Fargo ND,….and sit on a bench!

They write Fargo has cheap housing and low crime! No worries, mate!

They write Fargo has cheap housing and low crime! No worries, mate!

Retirement comes down to this-there’s no perfect list of places, dates to keep in mind or reason to retire ; it’s personal. Some want to ski tandem with the Abominable Snowman while others want to swim with sharks.

I just love the ocean...

I just love the ocean…

I figure life will catch up to me soon enough...now it's time to play, snorkel some, or paddle around in a kayak.

I figure life will catch up to me soon enough…now it’s time to play, snorkel some, or paddle around in a kayak..or not.

Thing is, the word retirement should really be spelled-you don’t have to hurry anymore-but Webster was too busy to write all that out. To me, it figures retirement is like walking out into a huge pasture filled with other people who don’t care if they’ve stepped in it.

who really knows what's been in that field?!?!

who really knows what’s been in that field?!?!

No one sees as well as they use to; no one hears or cares; smells are more like guesses and the muffled voices that belong to cartoon characters keep rasping from cracked faces that croak the sounds.

Speaking of croaking. Retirement is not the same as being dead.

It's time to wake up and smell the flowers-

It’s time to wake up and smell the flowers on that misnomer.

Heck, I know plenty of people who have lived days past their retirement date-a few even longer. But there are plenty of so-called guides to help people with retirement that are heck-bent on making sure that doesn’t happen for long. Everyone who’s ever thought about retiring has heard the adage: keep yourself busy. SAY What!?!?! Wait! That’s what I’ve done my whole life! Maybe, what those who spew this mockery of retirement’s real spelling-U don’t have 2 hurry anymore- mean for us to keep busy shoveling.

Keep in shape; you're almost there....

Keep in shape; you’re almost there….

Some guides even try to appeal to the frugal retirees…

My dad was from Iowa and saved even hte shadow of his money, so he might have thought this  a deal of a ,errrr,,lifetime....

My dad was from Iowa and saved even the shadow of his money, so he might have thought this a deal of a ,errrr,,lifetime….

Okay then, my bottom line and last-ditch effort to make this all up to snuff is I don’t think Forbes had a young guy writing this review..what old people need to move to where water’s running out and it’s 100 degrees in the shade? And who ever heard of retirees wanting to get comfy in blocks of ice for beds? Yeah, no

Franque.  I’m too busy to retire …..who’s got time for that?

here are links for both of my books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are on kindle now.

* Actually this is a a true reading from Upper New York State near our lake home…


It’s said that the rainbow is God’s promise to us that it won’t rain again too badly ever again.

a sign that we are in the clear

a sign that we are in the clear

Thing is, he gave us another sign, too. That sign is called snow.

favorite picture of number two daughter

favorite picture of number two daughter standing in God’s second sign….( taken at Natural Bridge, New York.)

Yeah, that’s right. The white covered trees, snow-covered roofs and crystal white ground is a clear message sent to us from above. It’s God’s way of putting out a white flag, covering areas of the earth with the flag of surrender, as in give up on this place. He begs us each year with a blanket of freezing white to heed his warning and go forth, go to the light, and prosper. But do we listen? It’s no accident that the word snow has the word “no” inside it.

I did have fun building snow men.....

I did have fun building snow men…..

Few know that the word snow stands for, “Sweet Jesus, no one will live here.” This is because the original, S.J.N.O.W. L.H., group, back in bazillion BC , or twelve years ago, received the message but didn’t listen. Not that they were Hebrews, but doesn’t this sound familiar? I mean, we have a whole book about those gifted with knowledge who didn’t listen. Anyway, this S.J.N.O.W.L.H. group went forward into the land of snow and froze their gonads off. Soon, the entire race perished-no off spring, (no surprise here).All that was left of the entire disobedient race was a simple fragmented wall etching that read ** S.N.O.W.** What I’m thinking is that snow is frozen water, and people are made up of over 50% water! Hello, which half of you would you like to freeze off today? See? None of this I’m gonna live in a frozen tundra makes sense. Plus, who the hell shovels a driveway and then goes to work?  No. Me? I go back to bed-‘Honey the driveway is clear’.

A friends house up  in Northern New State near our Lake house.....

A friend’s house up in Northern New State. Sometimes, I think people up North haven’t noticed that it’s cold?

Fact: the word slosh first came into our vernacular once brain surgery became an item.  It was then, when surgeons, and scientists like Frankincense,(not the weird-o Frankenstein-geez, that’d be lame) where opening a frozen northern person’s left and right brain lobe that a pizza delivery boy said, “Wow, what would you call that? Slosh?” The term stuck on through sleet and snow and objections from the House of Representatives. In the end, snow days aren’t worth loosing appendages. It beats me why people would stay in a place that God has already plainly marked a no unzip your fly zone, throw in the towel cause the water lines are rock solid frozen zone, and a look out, that roof might collapse catastrophic set. I wonder as much as the Hebrew’s wandered about all of this-but at least that lost tribe was in a desert, so they had it good.

our home up north.....but a summer home.

our home up north. (Lake Bonaparte) ….but a summer home.

There’s  a reason they call a joke a snow job. You know what? Come to think of it, I agree with you Northern shoveling people-why sell your homes? Why leave your snow plow behind and buy cheaper homes down south were your heating bills won’t matter and your back won’t hurt? There are so many puddles down here, and that dang ocean nearby is full of water.

Having a terrible time down here....it might rain tomorrow!

Having a terrible time down here….it might rain tomorrow!

Plus, our empty roads are such a sleeper. You’ve got it good. Free ice, too! You know what they say; numb toes still add up to ten if you have them! Cheers. Franque23 is cold at fifty degrees-who’d like that?

here are links for both of my books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are on kindle now.

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