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r there dyslexic birds?

I’ve always been dyslexic, but because I was born one million years ago I only learned of the condition while in Clolege.  So here’s to putting hte cool in shcool. No wonder phonics wasn’t my best sujbect! It was a great relief to get to know how my head worked, and once I did my grade average went from a sub pair 2.0 to a 3.7!  All I had to do then is what I od now—question how I see things, realize when it’s backwards and correct my understanding of whatever it is I’m erading, looking at, or writing. I can convert anything-right or wrong:-)…

I write books that are on Kindle that make editors spell for me….I have to laugh, one editor once asked, ‘Why are yoru sentences always inverted?’

So tell me, how does it change dyslexics to take a light bulb?*

Thing is, really, my body just hasn’t gotten the message about this,’let’s not be so dyslexic,’-ont at all. No, my bodsy’ backwards from ear-hair to navel fuzz. Here I am, clearly a twenty-ish type pushing some other galaxy of age so why the bursitis in the left knee, or slow moving knees, why the left-eye occlusion and the turkey neck that makes me dihe through all of Thanksgiving tmie? Why can I talk to my jingling ellby? And Asthma inhalers are not the death of fresh air they’re meant to be but, man, they take the pharmaceutical’s money right!  See? My entire obdy is going dyslexic on me!

I’m younger than a bean sprout but my face has age wrinkles, weird, my head is missing my hair, astoundingly bizarre, and my get-up-and-go is beating me to some place I can’t seem to find. What I need here is a good walyer. I’ll sue my odby and win whatever’s left of it. Vey, oh, why bother!

still, some people think they are beavers…so maybe i’m koya

Of course, some things still work fine: (I can’t believe you thought that-that’s just wrong, like really young of you.) I mean I can snap my fingers, wait, not so much; at least I can see, sorta, using a different set of glasses for every kind of seeing distance; I can whistle, no, actually I never could; I can do the tiswt, though I’d never try it again; I can talk about times I lived through but never knew; and I’ve got lots of stories to yell cause I’m still dancin’ inside, byba.

this is actually Billy the kid’s friend who shot him..but this has nothing to do with this post… ceehrs**

Yep, I’ve got my head turned around so it works but this body thing is a feakin’ dumb-ass diesitter. Yoga helps, but I’ve lost my mat and I can’t find the floor. Bending over to see things upside down seems all too familiar to me while breathing heavy while working out means some of that god hair I find under the couch is actually going into me instead of under the conch. I know it’s good to rush blood to my head while bending over but does it ever leaf my skull? No, this entire upside down workout cesspro may be why my ears and head aer twice the size they were ounce, gone lgoa.

Let’s ace ti: I don’t know my bowel from my elbow, but is there really umch of a difference?

the Cliffs of Moher never shave…

When you get right up on it, being dyslexic isn’t much the same as anything that’s so different. So hwy lla teh kalt about it…?

It’s odd , but spell check just isn’t ehlping.


  • Slopped from aonther tighs.
  • **for some other glob.

*** “Body Language worth noting” (Translation)




Yes! It almost feels good, having the Gators going 4-8 this year on the hot, grid iron.

No wait, not this girdiron

No wait, not this gridiron

It’s more like this one at football time,

Hmmm, that's a fan's Gridiron....

Hmmm, that’s a fan’s Gridiron….

Heck! You know the one I’m talkin’ about-

It's the right field but there's still something not quite right....

It’s the right field, but there’s still something not quite right….

Anywho, the pressure’s off  us Gator fans, and we’re sure to suck as a team next year which makes it that much better. Ticket prices have come way down-sweet.  Maybe, I can get my wife to a game for the band and cheering—-in fact, it’s all good! Who wants to waste more time this year watching NC games or important bowls when you can be peeling oranges in your front yard anyway?

I say, keep this MuchChump guy of a head coach forever.(okay: his name is, Muschamp)…Us Gator fans can go have fun again, relax, not expect to win and just read about the losing score the next day after the game. Some people will have more time for their grand kids, some more time to relax with a beer, read a book, plant a garden, while others more time to troll for hookers. (I always wonder why those lonesome guys don’t go fishing instead…that’d be better. anyway….)

And about those hookers…..It’s simple, the economic ripple effects in a community are amazing when it comes to a having a losing football team. Our local news paper reported that hookers were busted for giving two for one deals to undercover cops(no joke), so this losing thing is an all around boom for the fun industry clientele, not so much for the waitress’ and whatnot’s. Now, with prices down for the games too, people can afford doctor visits as well, so yes, it’s all good.

 Okay, maybe one million things do bother me about Muchchump being our head coach…  For starters, he makes 2,800,000.00 per year and got a 250 thousand dollar raise this year to go 4-8. Thing is, some say anyone could do a better job coaching even if  three sheets to the wind, blindfolded, and had their thumbs up their ass. Of course, these people could be missing something; maybe next year the Gators will do great?!?! And I keep forgetting, if we did succeed ticket prices would go up again. So why want that?

It’s cheers, beers, and did I mention beer time? The truth is, this whole expecting to do well in football this year and then the team falling on its face has made drinking  more appealing than ever to most around here.

Then again, this gal in Johannesburg does give a hoot, snarl, growl or buckeye about the Gators.

Then again, this gal in Johannesburg doesn’t give an Arkansas razorback, Jaybird hoot, Tiger’s snarl, Gator growl or buckeye about the Gators.

Bottom line is that the loopy-goopy feeling of losing could lead to happy bartenders, but also to more traffic accidents. See? It definitely isn’t cost effective to keep Muchchump as head coach, at least not for this community. But Fooley, our athletic director who hired our current disaster of a head coach, says he’ll stand by his man. I keep wondering why, and just exactly how close these two are standing together? Wait a second, his name is Foley, not Fooley-sorry.

Muchchump says he’s gonna “fix” things next year.

"I'm gonna fix what I broke-I promise!" Truth is, somewhere down deep I kinda like this guy. Why? Don't know, maybe I like rooting for the underdog, or just dog....

“I’m gonna fix what I broke-I promise!” Truth is, somewhere down deep I kinda like this guy. Why? Don’t know, maybe I like rooting for the underdog, or is it just, the dog….

Why is it I feel like things were already fixed when this so-called dumb ass was hired as UF’s head coach in the first place? Everyone knows, Muchchump and Fooley are good friends from back a ways. I mean, it’s not like us’em Gator fans are a bunch of bumpkins!

We're a sophisticated bunch of fans.

We’re a sophisticated bunch of fans.

But maybe, I’m looking too far into things, or not getting the big picture. Consider this: with the increase of traffic accidents due to UF fans being driven to drink over the horrendous coaching we suffered through this year, the towing industry in Gainesville is making bundles! Bingo! Everything that happens in this world is tied together….it’s not just a simple football game with a final losing score, or a 2.8 million dollar salary that’s going on here. Things go deep, unlike any of this head coach’s play book that I’ve seen.

 I read some rabid hikeball fan*, or was it our UF athletic PR group, predicted that UF will change their offensive philosophy and plan to throw the ball further than four yards at a clip. Of course, they didn’t say what year this might happen, or whether the throws would be forward passes or not. You have to read between the lines when you’re listening to football rap; be careful on that.

Yep! Everything’s connected, so let’s not rock the boat too much. Heck, there might be gators in the water!

You never know around these parts.....

You never know around these parts…..

The head coach guy here in Gainesville has fired some people he’d hired who worked beneath him; that should do it. Who knew how bad those guys would be anyway? Not us fans; certainly not our head coach who hired them either! So what’s to worry? We’ll stay cool hanging out in our gardens until next season.

We'll be chomping broccoli until next year!

We’ll be chomping broccoli until next year!

Next year figures to be a piece of cake, all smashed in our Gator fan faces. Again, how sweet is that?

Franque23, hike.

*College football and other strange word combinations.

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August 2019
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