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It’s that time of year again and I’ve decided the scariest costume I can wear is myself. Hey, it’s a free costume so what’s not to like? Yep, I’m gonna go out there as a bald headed, near-sighted, long eared seventy year old specimen featuring wolf-man like nose hair—that should do it! One look at me and my fellow younger trick-or-treaters will know all of life is a mistake; it’s a one way road to ruin loaded down with wobbling turkey neck, mouth drool and very thick glasses.

I’m gonna answer my door this Halloween and place handbills into trick-or treat bags: “Look at me! This is what life gets ya!”

People like to set weird lighting effects around their doorstep for eerie effects for this special night. Me? I’m using bright lights with a beam on my face at the door. Then again, maybe I should lay outside on the lawn like a snoring dead-man—this could save on printing costs for the handbills and candy alike!

Me on the lawn-

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It’s an odd day when the truth is the scariest thing of all!

BTW, my grandchildren drink blood..

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(Okay, it’s dragon fruit.)

I know, I know, people with facial wrinkles like to say, “I’ve earned every one of them!” Thing is, if we’ve already paid the price for those wrinkles, why do we have to wear them for the rest of our life?  Okay, maybe facial wrinkles would be fun to see in the mirror for like a day or a week, but forever?!?!?

Of course, many facial lines are,”laugh wrinkles,” as they say. “Cheer up!” they say! Okay, I’m asking: what was so funny back then to be worth this now? And, I wonder, if I keep laughing will my face eventually fall off. Anything is possible at this point.

Mom used to say I’d go blind if I kept that up but back in the day I guess arms fell off first! This is why so many statues from antiquity have no arms.

Image result for greek statue whose head or arms have fallen off

No one told this guy, and then it was too late.

What is it about wrinkles anyway? I’ve never seen a bird, rabbit, cat or dog have wrinkles!

So, why do people wrinkle? Is it a warning to others that a rotting corpse is still walking?  “Look out! This mistake still has feet!”

Nope, dogs don’t wrinkle; even mice don’t wrinkle! You’d think Mankind might have figured old age out better than a mouse by this  point in time!

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Sometimes, I sit in my chair watching birds and wonder what the hell happened?!?!?

But, do I really regret being seventy? No—as long as I can have 50 years back I’m good. “Okay the joke is over; now lets get back to being 20!” I don’t recall making a deal about this aging thing: I want a lawyer. And, please, not  trump’s, ‘I only hire the best people,’ Giuliani. I’ll be selling wrinkles forever if this is the case.

I need to sail free of age like Caspar the ghost—I need to earn wrinkles that fly away: it’s Halloween after all.

Special!! Here’s a 20 second video of me putting up a Halloween Bulletin Board at work.

To be honest, things are looking up for me and my buddies; I think the tide is turning! But, it won’t be high tide, right?

Just hanging with my gang.

Do I regret being older than dirt? Of course not! I hate it!!!  Oh, I know,  I wouldn’t be who I am today if not for all my years of life! And, you might miss me if you stumble upon a random rock, fall into a pile of dog shit and think…”Oh yes, there was that guy who wrote a glob about this!* Whatever happened to him?” (So, you see, I could matter in certain situations, maybe.)

I finally realized this guy is wondering where his clothes are!

If clothes can be wrinkle free, why not people? Scientists need to be working on making people come through this drying out life process wrinkle free…

Fortunately, we never lose our energy.

Happy Halloweenie me. I’m looking perfect for the part.

In the meantime….maybe ramble thru the last ten years of globs I’ve written… some of them are spookier than me.

Franque23

  • I never did.
  •  Barbara sent me this today…..

    Non Sequitur 10/31/2019

 

 

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