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My friend and great artist, Oscar, used to say it was the angles in college football that kept her attention.

Butt, I digress.

Sometimes, things don’t make sense. Walking into a door before we open it is one of them. And I kinda feel like these Gainesville Gator Football hot shots—the movers and shakers of this world—have stepped into a swamp of muddy thinking they’ve inflicted upon all of us. Why? (— scroll down to the part of the publication by U of F on dehydration precautions. It’s in this post.)

Yeah, so if you read that dehydration bit for even a bit you now know the extreme extent the Florida Gator Ben Hill Griffin Stadium group has gone to in order to hopefully prevent the dehydration of the 90 thousand plus fans expected to witness the Gators play Auburn.  That’s nice, and I get it: people who die of dehydration always resurrect lawyers who ask why. Reading the linked article above got me thinking….WT????

How is it possible folks who know enough to publish warnings about the midday sun dehydration, folks who provide thousands of free fans and tons of bottles of dollar water, folks who provide three thousand cooling towels for free, folks who display a map of drinking fountains and even how to locate a very expensive stand alone cool down mist room on wheels can’t think to maybe, duh, change the time of the game from 3:30 baking sun time to 7ish PM cooling sundown time?

It boggles the mind that some northern college football teams in the US will play TV games at night while the smoking hot sun-burned Gators will play at 3:30! Oh wait, I know, it’s all about TV scheduling. See? This is where the rubber meets the virgin? Say what? That’s right,,, the football teams that are forced to play within TV constraints are the rubber meeting the road and doing the work while the TV owners are the virgin schedulers that everyone thinks are beyond reproach.

But, I say the thinking and exchanges going on between college football programs (the SEC) and TV channels is all wrong. Listen up: the football players do the work while the TV stations make the money.

Oh sure, TV may pay Florida $$ for airing the game,,, but the station makes $$$$$$$$ for doings so!!  Check this out! “….TV-ad prices are rising. In the 2011 season, the average price of a 30-second ad during regular Saturday college games airing on ABC, CBS or NBC cost about $93,700, up 12% from the prior season, while the average price of a spot during the Bowl Championship Series was about $810,000, up 9%, Kantar said. So far this season, ad prices are up between 10% and 15%, it said.”**

So, I say it’s a holding call on the 50 yard line of robbery! I say TV channels owe their time outs and talking heads to the blood and guts being spilled on the turf, not the other way around.

Here’s the deal in simple language: football players make TV stations tons of money.

So, if those stations want the money then football teams, their coaches, and staff and administration should get to say when the game will be played, not the other way around as it is today.

Listen up: I’ve been the head of a Union for ten years in my life and if ever one side has the other by the cajones it’s right now. Let’s say the Gators want to play at 7 PM  against the Auburn tigers since people might die of dehydration if they play at 3:30??? Just bring it up and the TV station HAS to submit to the request or lawyers will eat them for lunch should one person,, even a 99 year old, die during the heated game! See???? It’s right there for any wide-out to plainly see. The path to beneficial game times for southern teams is right here to hold and do, but no one seems worthy of the thought.. Why?!?!?!

Florida Gators Administration: stop providing web links and cool down mist trucks. Just a few simple words by you and from now on the Gators will forever play prime time games at 7 PM. “We request that our starting TV broadcast time be moved to 7 PM in order to protect our players and fans from any effect due to dehydration during the game.”

Bingo! The liability due to dehydration now moves entirely upon the broad caster… Take it from me; it’s a done deal.

You are welcome.

So, please forward this to every Bull Gator you know. Please forward this to every Administration member you might know of in U of F. Thing is, if U of F doesn’t do this …they can be sued for forcing a player to play under adverse condition for the want of money…think about that as well…Parents , sue if your child has serious injury while playing in adverse conditions…it’s that simple.

UF…tell the stations to carry our games at night or we’ll find another broadcast. Let’s see who really wants the money.

No more hot September games; no more hot games at all. Just read this to know everyone who should know does: it’s too hot to play at 3:30 in Gainesville—it’s a public health risk for players and fans alike.

*Here’s the gist of the link:

“With high temperatures expected during the early part of the season, heat initiatives will be in place for the first four home games including misting stations located throughout Ben Hill Griffin Stadium (Gate 9, Gate 16, Upper North Endzone), free cups of ice and cooling busses outside Gates 2 and 13. Fans are also encouraged to stop by the Comfort Temp Chill Zone at Alligator Alley (west concourse between Gates 1 and 4) to cool down. There will also be 3,000 cooling towels distributed at the Gators Fan Fest prior to the game. Florida Lottery will have 15,000 hand fans to pass out at the Tennessee and Auburn games at select entry gates.

Empty Water Bottle
Fans are permitted to bring one (1) commercially branded (i.e. Aquafina) EMPTY plastic water bottle, no larger than 20 oz. There are several water bottle filling stations inside Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. Non-disposable water bottles, sport bottles, Nalgene-type bottles, cans, heavy plastic, glass bottles, and thermoses are NOT permitted in the Stadium. There are 12 water bottle refill stations throughout Ben Hill Griffin Stadium.

Hydration Stations
There are eight large Hydration Stations located inside and just outside the stadium, which offer FREE filtered water for fans and visitors to drink. Cups are provided, and inside the stadium fans can also fill their empty water bottle (see policy above).

Hydration Stations are located inside the stadium at Gate 2, 7, and 16, as well as behind Section 1 and 45, along with the upper north end zone behind Section 322. The two locations outside the stadium—which were purchased and sponsored by UF Student Government are outside Gate 8 and 16.

Fans are reminded that all you can drink refill stations are located at concession stands H40, H20, H6.

Complimentary Sunscreen
There will be free sunscreen for fans attending football games at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium available at the Guest Service Kiosks at Gates 1, 7 and 16.”

Ya know you’re guilty of taking the money at the risk of us all. Stop opening the door to TV providers while slamming the door on the lives of those who play or care to watch the game. Shame on you.
Franque23 bets on the lawyers.


** some random site I was lucky enough to find after 30 minutes of search..this stuff is deeply embedded–they don’t want to own up to the profits.

Yes! It almost feels good, having the Gators going 4-8 this year on the hot, grid iron.

No wait, not this girdiron

No wait, not this gridiron

It’s more like this one at football time,

Hmmm, that's a fan's Gridiron....

Hmmm, that’s a fan’s Gridiron….

Heck! You know the one I’m talkin’ about-

It's the right field but there's still something not quite right....

It’s the right field, but there’s still something not quite right….

Anywho, the pressure’s off  us Gator fans, and we’re sure to suck as a team next year which makes it that much better. Ticket prices have come way down-sweet.  Maybe, I can get my wife to a game for the band and cheering—-in fact, it’s all good! Who wants to waste more time this year watching NC games or important bowls when you can be peeling oranges in your front yard anyway?

I say, keep this MuchChump guy of a head coach forever.(okay: his name is, Muschamp)…Us Gator fans can go have fun again, relax, not expect to win and just read about the losing score the next day after the game. Some people will have more time for their grand kids, some more time to relax with a beer, read a book, plant a garden, while others more time to troll for hookers. (I always wonder why those lonesome guys don’t go fishing instead…that’d be better. anyway….)

And about those hookers…..It’s simple, the economic ripple effects in a community are amazing when it comes to a having a losing football team. Our local news paper reported that hookers were busted for giving two for one deals to undercover cops(no joke), so this losing thing is an all around boom for the fun industry clientele, not so much for the waitress’ and whatnot’s. Now, with prices down for the games too, people can afford doctor visits as well, so yes, it’s all good.

 Okay, maybe one million things do bother me about Muchchump being our head coach…  For starters, he makes 2,800,000.00 per year and got a 250 thousand dollar raise this year to go 4-8. Thing is, some say anyone could do a better job coaching even if  three sheets to the wind, blindfolded, and had their thumbs up their ass. Of course, these people could be missing something; maybe next year the Gators will do great?!?! And I keep forgetting, if we did succeed ticket prices would go up again. So why want that?

It’s cheers, beers, and did I mention beer time? The truth is, this whole expecting to do well in football this year and then the team falling on its face has made drinking  more appealing than ever to most around here.

Then again, this gal in Johannesburg does give a hoot, snarl, growl or buckeye about the Gators.

Then again, this gal in Johannesburg doesn’t give an Arkansas razorback, Jaybird hoot, Tiger’s snarl, Gator growl or buckeye about the Gators.

Bottom line is that the loopy-goopy feeling of losing could lead to happy bartenders, but also to more traffic accidents. See? It definitely isn’t cost effective to keep Muchchump as head coach, at least not for this community. But Fooley, our athletic director who hired our current disaster of a head coach, says he’ll stand by his man. I keep wondering why, and just exactly how close these two are standing together? Wait a second, his name is Foley, not Fooley-sorry.

Muchchump says he’s gonna “fix” things next year.

"I'm gonna fix what I broke-I promise!" Truth is, somewhere down deep I kinda like this guy. Why? Don't know, maybe I like rooting for the underdog, or just dog....

“I’m gonna fix what I broke-I promise!” Truth is, somewhere down deep I kinda like this guy. Why? Don’t know, maybe I like rooting for the underdog, or is it just, the dog….

Why is it I feel like things were already fixed when this so-called dumb ass was hired as UF’s head coach in the first place? Everyone knows, Muchchump and Fooley are good friends from back a ways. I mean, it’s not like us’em Gator fans are a bunch of bumpkins!

We're a sophisticated bunch of fans.

We’re a sophisticated bunch of fans.

But maybe, I’m looking too far into things, or not getting the big picture. Consider this: with the increase of traffic accidents due to UF fans being driven to drink over the horrendous coaching we suffered through this year, the towing industry in Gainesville is making bundles! Bingo! Everything that happens in this world is tied together….it’s not just a simple football game with a final losing score, or a 2.8 million dollar salary that’s going on here. Things go deep, unlike any of this head coach’s play book that I’ve seen.

 I read some rabid hikeball fan*, or was it our UF athletic PR group, predicted that UF will change their offensive philosophy and plan to throw the ball further than four yards at a clip. Of course, they didn’t say what year this might happen, or whether the throws would be forward passes or not. You have to read between the lines when you’re listening to football rap; be careful on that.

Yep! Everything’s connected, so let’s not rock the boat too much. Heck, there might be gators in the water!

You never know around these parts.....

You never know around these parts…..

The head coach guy here in Gainesville has fired some people he’d hired who worked beneath him; that should do it. Who knew how bad those guys would be anyway? Not us fans; certainly not our head coach who hired them either! So what’s to worry? We’ll stay cool hanging out in our gardens until next season.

We'll be chomping broccoli until next year!

We’ll be chomping broccoli until next year!

Next year figures to be a piece of cake, all smashed in our Gator fan faces. Again, how sweet is that?

Franque23, hike.

*College football and other strange word combinations.

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