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I’m thinking eating an apple and then a banana could make a person fart? This could be trouble. I’m working the public service desk for the nest 5 hours and I just consumed both! If the answer to my first important question of the day is,’Yes,’ I can only hope some service dogs come in. The good news? I’ll be the first to find out the validity of the premise so I can quickly leave my area in search of a book or some other task.

Question two for today: Has our Supreme Court always been strictly a partisan affair and corrupted by outside interests? I didn’t believe so as a child, but , then again, I also believed in Santa Clause.

My take of the Kavanaugh selection? The vote was 48 NO to 50 YES for confirmation. This means there were 48 correct votes and 50 wrong—that’s about it. For liberals, the future for Supreme Court decisions looks bleak; that the Supreme Court no longer appears to have a swing voter might wreak havoc as decisions come down during the years ahead.

Third question: Why is the suffix, ‘Jerry or Gerry,’ such a derogation? We have the, ‘Jerry’s’ (the German soldiers during world War 11) and, Gerrymandering, (Pretty much the sole corrupt political device that secured the election for many candidates throughout our country.) If something has been Jerry-rigged it won’t work for long—we all know that. But did you know, “Jerry,’ is another name for Chamber Pot!?!?!OH I know, a chamber pot was well received when needed, but it still seems to be a bottom-of-the-barrel sorta thing.

So why does all this matter? My name is Gerald, often turned to, Gerry, by family and friends, so I’m a bit sensitive to having a name associated with, 1)the enemy, 2)corruption, 3)something that won’t be any good or, 4) a piss-pot and worse. This is why being called,’Franque,’ by friends on athletic teams in High School was such a relief!

Fourth question: Since 1996, Medical Cannabis sales tax collection in states that have deemed the drug legal for medical use has totaled over, One billion, two hundred eighty-five thousand dollars. These are the medical sales. Imagine if the illegal usage sales and the tax charged were added to this figure? Why in any Capitalist’s, rational head would it seem good to not legalize Pot?* Folks—we have a bunch of seeds and stems running our DOJ (Department of Justice). (Sessions is a jerk).

Fifth question: Why do so many men seem to hate women? Last time I looked, read or have been told, every man on the planet came by way of a woman. Or, is this alternative fact?

So many men lust for the same-sex they hate, demean, exclude from human rights that our world seems a whirling dervish of septic brain rot. For now, unfortunately, this is the good news. The over-all history of men’s atrocities toward women makes our current societal condemnation of women an improvement of epic proportions. I’ve always had a,’soft-spot,'(meaning I care?) for the plight of the Native American’s and for all indigenous people. Thing is, take any total number of any single group who has been wronged in history and put that figure against the number of over one-half of the world’s population throughout history—that would be female—and imagine which number is larger. See? Women make up the largest group number of people tortured, used, abused, slaughtered and misaligned in the history of Mankind. And I do wonder about the term, ‘Mankind.’ Divide the word, Mankind,(Man—kind) and see that each half of the term is kinda off.

Sixth question: Why are so few patrons coming to the service desk? Hmmm. And no, that was a burp-I swear.

Franque23 loves bananas and apples.

 

*https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewdepietro/2018/05/04/how-much-money-states-make-cannabis-sales/#28e12c8df181

 

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Did I always love hats? How do I know? But I do remember way back, and loving those ear flap hats my mom plopped on my head during winter…. At work we sometimes wear hats to help cheer us up, or maybe scare patrons so they tow the line…”No running!” Said the Library person in the weird hat.(BTW-don’t miss link at bottom to a bunch of hat sayings..*)10431400_10204057350304255_8831791732302296920_o Hats serve many functions. Here, below, a woman is hoping to help the bee and bird population. 3-Fashions-For-Spring-Washington-D.C.-1952f This woman may feel there are too many birds-can’t tell. But she needs wide doorways which is good carpenters.

Day two of Royal Ascot at Ascot Racecourse Featuring: Atmosphere Where: Ascot, United Kingdom When: 19 Jun 2013 Credit: WENN.com

Day two of Royal Ascot at Ascot Racecourse

Back in 1916 in Union Square-every man,woman and child wore hats…..What the hell happened to all those hats? I know. Sometime, a while back, a cowboy lost his hat and the sun burned his brain. Thing is, since he was the only one not wearing a hat, women went wild over him and had a bunch of his kids. Those kids had others, and before you know it, no one was wearing hats! This is a history most don’t know. You are welcome. emma-goldman_custom-582dd7d26710d1cc8524e8f94667bc36a1fdbf96-s1100-c15 (1) I love hats, and may have gotten this love from my mom who always looked great in hats-even silly hats. My wife’s mom was no stranger to hats, as well. Mom and Annette My supervisor has a knack for hats, too….( I have to write this-she’s my supervisor.) 1965012_786280751406619_7639099478551129472_n Me? I’ve worn a lot of different hats in my life,,,but that’s another bunch of stories, some already in this blog over the past 6 years.. 58070002 (500x427) I think people look good in hats. Hats can make a man hungry. !B9R9zD!EWk-$(KGrHqJ,!hYEze!PSTv6BM5VspRw1w--0_35 Maybe, crazy. Who wants mustard on their hot dog hat–that is just nuts. Funny_hat Boys will be boys like hats……Oh boy! Can I wear one of those? bearskin-hats They fit almost any fashion and attract attention. 6a015391975ac3970b015391e715db970b Men and women look good in hats…… al-capone some better than others. My workmates kill hats, Boom, excellent hat people. I love it! 10500375_842057679162259_7780775909333439958_n Some hats mean a lot….. 550728_10151712308875548_543007003_n Big Wigs gave way to Tall Hats Isambard_Kingdom_Brunel_preparing_the_launch_of_'The_Great_Eastern_by_Robert_Howlett_crop This is a special hat I bought in the Bahamas…It’s made of paper, and expands to any shaped head…The wind passes through it so it stays on any head, shades, and it’s very light weight…plus, it almost passes as a sculpture. 10438149_785794914788536_8051223962885830439_n Too bad I look like cow dung in it. Gotta love that hat. And a small collection others to my right. Told you-I like hats. securedownload (7) This is a gentleman’s hat, a beautiful hat, but this pic doesn’t do it justice. However, catch the stove top hat I made from paper on left of shot…. securedownload (8) securedownload Some hats just work. lisa-fonssagrives-lilly-dache-hat-irving-penn-vogue-feb-15-1950 Please don’t back up into me….. 10003197_10202770694244049_1669300592_n Another normal hat extravaganza at work- mom on the lake Told you my mom looked good in hats… snowmanwithdad Everyone should have a hat, saith the snow man. Even my brother loved hats, and he was super smart.1385356_10151989437744133_493973661_nHats about it for now….cheers to you and your hat. By the way, there’s a book called, The Man who Thought His Wife Was a Hat..(I think)..but it’s not so funny, since he really did. Anywho….byeee. Got any pictures of you in hats.? I mean, not just in hats-please. And, now that I brought this up…why is this last picture coming up on google when I search for people in hats?????-Bonus(or some other word here) picture,,,download (9) Honest,,this came up in images under the search….so I keep looking for a hat in the picture…looking,looking,looking-no hat?

Franque23 is a hat guy

*http://www.villagehatshop.com/content/40/hat-isms-hat-sayings-and-phrases.html

here are links for both of my books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are on kindle now.

Kudos to reader Ginny for sending me this dynamite video. I missed the saddle shoes, however.

http://safeshare.tv/w/FEDEwZHZXu

cheers ,,,and I hope you enjoyed this glimpse back into the fifties…

franque23

*I’ve two books out on Kindle. Please spread the word and share the links!

links for both books in the Avatar Magic Series:
Book one, Avatar Magic and book two, The Code of Avatar Magic are both on kindle now.

(Warning:  the first review says this blogs contains the worst blond jokes ever!-so there’s that.)

 

Not sure if Americans should take a good hard look at themselves in the mirror to get this hair dye bit straight, or never look in the mirror at all-lla.

It’s interesting to me that generally, for years, blondes were said to have more fun, maybe thought of as more attractive than brunettes by the media…..but when I think of super hero’s, the first ones that come to mind, male or female,  are dark haired? Of course, there are blonde super heros, but mostly….

Sometimes I think we take the color and shape of our hair too seriously.

Sometimes I think we take the color and shape of our hair too seriously.

Some stats say only 2% of the World’s population is naturally blond. Another 1% are red-haired. The rest of us have hair of many different colors  but mostly one: Not Blond.

Not Blond!

Not Blond!

Maybe this is why over 55 million people in the US dye their hair? Reports of hair dye causing leukemia, that much of the dye we use  is made from known animal carcinogens, none of that seems to matter. And when times get tough, American’s spend more on hair products to use at home rather than go to a beauty parlor. Reportedly, 7.5 billion was spent on hair dyes in one year in the US! Maybe, it’s safe to say few of us like the color of our hair….odd to me, since I’ve about none…

I find blonde jokes to be very degrading; gross; out of line; worthless: perfect stuff for the blog. Plus, my wife has had beautiful silver hair since she was about thirty…which means nothing but that she is strikingly beautiful

Can you spot the silver haired one?

Can you spot the silver haired one? Now, try to find the guy with no hair!!! That leaves my sister, Sharon Franquemont and her daughter Meagan Carlock to be counted at the table. Not a blond in sight, so each of us could order for ourselves!

….and not one dark haired person is really blond. Period.  Doesn’t happen, which means even less.  And what about blond haired guy jokes? What’s up with that?

Meanwhile, I’m looking thru Bio’s of Rapunzel to learn if she was a real blonde….get back to you on that.

Top of the morning.....!

Top of the morning…..!

Thing is, a workmate came in with a few jokes that got us all laughing, that got me writing…..

Heard any good jokes lately????Please post in comment field-who doesn’t need a laugh?

 

A) A blonde looks into a mirror and asks rhetorically,  ” Are you a real blonde?” She’s terrorized when her reflections answers, ” I’m not even a real person and I know it!” The woman runs to her phone and calls 911.

“What is your emergency?”

“There’s someone in my house who looks just like me and says what I’m thinking!”

 

B)Two blondes walk into a bar……one is hurt badly, the other , not so much.

 

F)A blonde is speeding down the road and passes a blond woman sitting in a row-boat  in the middle of  a farmer’s field. That woman in the boat is paddling like crazy, kicking up dust with every paddle she makes!  The woman driving the car steps on her brakes, backs up and pulls off the road. She walks up to the field fence and yells to the paddling woman, “You’re just the kind of nut job blonde that gives blond haired people like me a bad name. And if I could swim I’d come out there and beat the tar out of you!”

 

E) There has never been a blond, female US President-that should tell you something.

 

D)A blond female driver is pulled over by a blond female policeman. “What’s the problem officer?”

“You’re speeding. Let me see your license.”

The driver looks through her purse for several minutes for her license, but with no luck.”

The officer adds, “It’s about three by four and it has your picture on it.”

The blond finds her compact, pulls it out and sees her reflection in it. “Here it is officer.” She hands it to the cop.

The policeman looks down at it, “Oh, I see you’re a policeman too.”

 

3) How many blondes does it take to have a thought? …wait for it.. waaiiiit…..None.

 

+)A middle-aged Brunette teacher takes sympathy on a young middle school blond girl who can’t seem to pass any tests.  She writes on a piece of paper, “What’s the difference you see between blond-haired people and brunette haired people?” and walks over to the blond-haired child.

“Alicia, if you can answer this question I’ll give you an A on today’s test,” and puts the paper on the  girl’s desk.

The blond student reads the question, looks up at the teacher and says, “Their age?”

 

10ty)Blondes have more fun since they don’t know the difference. “Hey! Is this fun?”

 

AA)“Dad! Why does mom stare into the refrigerator for so long?”

“Hon…don’t worry; mom’s blond.”

“What ?”

“She’s  reading  the concentrate label.”

 

Another) A blonde asks another, “How many blonds does it take to fill a boat?”

“Ten.” One replies.

“Why ten?” the other asks.

“It has to be past nine.”

“But I’m busy until eleven!”

“Get off early.”

“Won’t that rock the boat?”

“Yeah, hadn’t thought about that.”

 

UP)Flash-The blond hockey team drown in spring training.

 

LAST) A blonde is confused. “What does IDK mean?”

“A brunette answers, ” I don’t know.”

“OMG! No one does.”

 

Smiles and do write your own blog blonde jokes in the comment fields..that could be fun!

Franque23

Avatar Magic, by Gerald Franquemont, is on Kindle,and it can be downloaded onto most reading devices. Please don’t miss Saving Jane, by Laura Dale  Bell , it’s on Kindle too!

Laura Dale Bell, author, mother, singer, song writer, home school-er, wife, house keeper and definitely, NOT Blond! Go figure?

Laura Dale Bell, author, mother, singer, song writer, stand-up comedian, home school-er, wife, house keeper and definitely, NOT Blond! Go figure?

 

 

 

 

 


Okay. I love to people watch. As a kid in high school,  it seems like I took the train from Mineola to Hillside Avenue in Jamaica, maybe caught the E-8th ave. subway from there to  Greenwich  village-that’s a bit fuzzy for me some 50 years later.  But, sitting on the sidewalks in Washington Square with my buddies where we’d watch the people going by is clear as bell in my mind. The cost for a slice of pizza had recently risen from fifteen cents to 25 cents-it’s hard to forget that appalling fact too.

Circa 1960 Village street scene....

Circa 1960 Washington Square street scene….looks like that guy’s getting a ticket-maybe the only car in town?

Fast forward a few bazillion years and I found my wife and I visiting Johannesburg, South Africa. There, I put my people watching skills to good use.

Honestly,  an interesting, quick two-week trip to Johannesburg left me with many vast  impressions drawn from slim pickin’s when it comes to my sample size. My conclusions are much like a poll that broadcasts it showed  75% of people love whale watching on first dates and then mentions off -hand that the sample size was four people. So, in this case, we really had one happy couple and one last date. Still, my daughter’s associations in Johannesburg gave me access to  a wide and varied group of professional, local and working people but, in each case, these people were few in number.

For those who wonder about the “look” of the people in Johannesburg, only my New York City area upbringing could prepare me for seeing such an assortment of people from different nationalities in the local(huge) shopping mall. Wacko’s, beggars, sophisticated ladies, spiffy professionals, causal window shoppers, those sporting traditional African dress and your average run-of-the-mill teen clothed in black made up the crowd.

images (2)fashion showWe didn’t meet any of these Women, or see any other fashion shows like this one, but the Rosebank Mall offered  a good view of the many types of clothing worn daily in the country. The mall  was huge, the top story being multiple movie theaters. It’s size was equal to about four times that of Gainesville, Florida’s largest mall. 

images (2)spacious mallPolished walks, huge plantings, sky lights, even several grocery stores were just a few of the intriguing aspects of the Mall. Oh, and the food prices were equivalent to US prices, but for the meat-Filet Mignon ran about $2.25 per pound! I ate a little bit of meat while there, right? But this is cow country. My wife said their Constitutional Court Building was adorned with huge cow hides hung on walls and draped in the parliamentary chamber. 

lots of storiesBig, open spaces inside the Mall, though this one, I don’t recognize. Still, this huge Mall had other malls connected to it…like the African market mall where traditional wares of all types were for sale.

Two stories; vendors loved cash but took ATM bank cards as well.

Two stories; vendors loved cash but took ATM bank cards as well.

We ran into street dancers often…

Oh yeah--music, dancing, all of it for fun on the streets surrounding the Mall.

Oh yeah–music, dancing, all of it for fun on the streets surrounding the Mall.

images (2)regular joysLots of everyday folks shopping in casual dress.
hot shot dresses

 But, many shoppers were well attired, especially, it seemed, the Dutch descendant Afrikaans. Breezy is a word that came to mind as I checked-out the clothes on people passing by. Of, course, Spring had just begun, so color was all the rage.

A simple outfit that reminded me of  the many layers of clothing I saw most often worn in Japan.

A simple outfit that gives the impression that one is wearing many layers of clothing like I saw most often in Japan.

Then, to my wonder, was the multi-colored patterned outfits worn by those I thought of as indigenous to the area….

I was struck by the beauty of these types of outfits.

I was struck by the beauty of these types of outfits.

And some times I found myself thinking these outfits looked much like those worn by Peruvians who lived far away, high in the Andes.

Here, a Peruvian couple.

Here, a Peruvian couple.

This, a dress worn in Johannesburg.

The two outfits, one for Peru,the other from Jo-burg have the similar looks.

The two outfits, one from Peru,the other from Jo-burg, have  similar feels.

Usually  the colors, and always the hats!!!

Usually the colors, and always the hats!!!

Moving the motif up a notch....

Moving the motif up a notch….

  

“The people I did get to meet, speakers of English, Afrikaans, Zulu, Swahili and others languages, all seemed rather up-tempo when it came to their country’s politics-I had to laugh hearing that they all knew their presidential elections would be coming next year but the exact date of the election was still uncertain. Can you imagine:” Oh, the election should be sometime in November.” Americans, as I get it from my travels, are generally an uptight lot when it comes to things like punctuality, the time of day, day of the week, what month it might be or even what year. American’s , as a people, need to relax more. Anyway…….

And I learned during my visit, to my chagrin, that it’s politics as usual all over the world. Julius Malema, who got kicked out of the ANC (the ruling party in South Africa) for generally being an idiot and saying stupid things surprised me as I listened to him speak over the radio.  He explained that it was all true what the reporters were saying, that he’d pounded his female work associates into the mattress so hard (my translation:-)) that it was a near miracle the beds didn’t break but, he added, at least he was being honest about this. His fellow running mates, he went on to say, should not be trusted because they all do the same thing but lie about it. He is, as well, now the head of his own party (the EFF – Economic Freedom Fighters) and is running for President in 2014. Should he call himself, “Honest Julius?”*

Ha! What Ex-President Clinton could have learned from this  Julius Malema guy huh?

Meanwhile, South Africa’s Current President, Jacob Zuma, was, in fact, convicted of rape before becoming President.

I found the general populace to be politically involved and well aware, call it concerned, about the random shootings in America. More than once I heard the US described as the elephant they hoped would not roll over.  To the issue of Syria, people uniformly thought those troubles to be the result of America’s interests in oil, Halliburton’s influence in the region was often mentioned. Everyone I spoke to  said they loved Obama—

Love bloomed there too.
Love blooms there too.
And dogs still need to be walked.....

And dogs still need to be walked…..

Visiting a Jo-burg beer joint was great fun too–that and more on this fascinating place later on. Oh, and it’s a beautiful city.

The street my daughter lives on is lined with jacaranda tree, as many are in Johannesburg.

Many  streets are lined with Jacaranda trees.

Franque23.

* Thanks to my daughter who lives in South Africa for making these corrections as to the facts of the matter here.

Avatar Magic, by Gerald Franquemont, is out on Kindle and it can be downloaded onto most reading devices.


(Avatar Magic, by Gerald Franquemont, is out on Kindle and it can be downloaded onto most readers.)

I haven’t stepped off the dock in years, maybe even weeks, before that nasty habit came home to roost again. This mystifying lake dunking experience was completely similar to my last  drop in the lake. ( I have to mention here for obscure reasons my intention to do a scientific government-funded study to establish once and for all if there truly is a correlation between people coming in droves to the library where I work and fish biting. Of course, this would have nothing to do with me falling into the lake.) Both kerplunkings had to do with air stability, the humidity most likely, and what most of us think of as the mass per unit volume of atmospheric gases, or as the density of air, or not.

It was just this type of ‘air-wall’ density that sent me careening off the dock and then the lack thereof that catapulted me through the air across the lake’s surface waters. Stop thinking I peed in my pants when this occurred cause that never happened-no way, besides I was blasted into the water with my pants on so there’d be no proof of that. Simply put: I’m not gonna go on and on about peeing or not peeing in my pants when this flipping happened, that would be stupid. I can’t believe you readers! People can think of the darnest most disassociated things can’t they? Maybe that’s why I thought about the cell phone in my pocket as I flew through the air towards the water. Silly huh? I mean it’s not like I was about to make a call: ” Hey Mike. You’ll never guess what I’m doing now….”

The first thing any observant person notices when they hit the lake water in this fashion is that they wish they hadn’t. I mean the water’s cold during every time of day, night, month or year. Next thing, an over-riding sense of wetness creeps into your can of beer and ears. Then, the water slips underneath your undies which kinda tickles, but I’m not going into that either. Anyway, I had very little fear of thinking too much at a time like this; I went strictly by rote. I’d learned long ago how to swim in four-feet of water once I’d reached the height of 4 foot 6 inches. It all reminded me of that song, “Standing” up is Hard to do. Anyway, the dock hadn’t moved much since I’d last left it but checking the sky for stars that night to navigate by was a real downer….not a star was in sight, until I looked up. “Wow! Look who’s twinkling now!” I had to laugh at those stars.

I quickly stepped through the lake over towards my dock steps hoping not to get too wet when I stumbled upon David’s log. It’d be completely wrong to go into this log right now too, or into the story of how David and his three friends moved the forty-foot long log out in the water ten feet out from the dock so we all could stand on it when we all skinny dipped together guys and gals alike, and how the lake water level changes from year to year which gives one unique impressions  from this entire event from year to year, or how the log still rests on the bottom today offering the same comfortable footing once someone swims out and knocks the slimy moss off of it with their  feet during the day so you feel the ridges of the tree bark with your toes instead of moss as you swim at night, or how the whole point of the thing is to perfectly walk the distance of the log under starlit skies or, dang it!, now I’ve went and  told you whole the story about the log. Shoot.  Anyway, the dock steps has/had a broken side railing, that’s where I meant to go with this.

The thing about this breaking side railing to our dock steps is that I astutely noticed this broken railing during the very first day of my vacation up this year. And then again, I noticed it every other day of vacation, always carefully noting to Dale as I did that it could be very dangerous if it broke off as she used it.  I’d wiggle the railing for her inspection, rattle it around and smiled at her daily. She always smiled back, I think, maybe that was a smile, can’t tell.  Finally, I ripped that broken railing right off from its base after my last swim on my last day up at the lake this year . In effect, by lake time (which is different from most), I removed that post in slightly less than 19 days.  Not bad if I do say so myself, but we have no pictures of this dockside event so I guess this will become just another famous dock story even Dale had a hard time believing.

In truth, I never fell off the dock this year that I remember. I’m quit certain of this. Mostly, I did yoga on the dock between rain drops, but there was that mysterious sound. It came from the forest, early up 6 AM one morn. It’s a sound I’d never heard before and I’d bet most of you haven’t either. It was eerie, weird, maybe even spooky and it caught me by complete surprise. Talk about peeing in your pants! But why mention that now?

Franque23

Next up: The Sound.


(Avatar Magic, by Gerald Franquemont, is on Kindle and the book can be downloaded onto most computers or reading devices.)

The Surgeon General has released a new study  that shows sixty years or more of marriage  leads to death in most cases. But what irks me  is this government study group had obviously misread my letter. I wasn’t talking about death and marriage, but deafness and marriage. Duh.

That’s right. What I discovered through an analytically observant process while watching my friends lives go down the tubes was that sixty years of marriage leads to deafness. (We’re not in the 1960’s anymore so I left out studies involving multiple marriage  partners, people married to the dead, twelve inmates on death row, invisible friends or people from past lives.)  But here’s the kicker: it really doesn’t take sixty years for marriage to kill ear drums, maybe not even twenty, ten  or five years but as little as fourteen months. Fourteen months marks the time when each partner realizes the one year anniversary wasn’t as neat as the first night of marriage. The marriage deafness begins right then.

My wife says I don’t hear her when she speaks–I know this because she left me a note in the John saying so. And that’s all odd . I’m certain she is talking all the time. I can tell by the slamming magazines, the side glances she casts my way and by the fact that her mouth is moving.  The truth is  I’ve come to understand acute marital deafness  by way of an old fart joke Mike Murphy told me years ago. Again, I never use names in my blog so don’t try to figure out who I’m referring to.

Anyway-the joke:

When people first meet they never fart; after a year of dating they fart, but very slowly or as silently as possible when in each other’s company; after one year of marriage they laugh if either person farts in the other’s company; five years of marriage means farting is routine; ten years begins the who can fart longer contests and then, finally, after twenty years of marriage each partner tries to fart in the other’s face.

Hearing is much like farting when it comes to marriage.  Unless you’re an average guy using  dick for brains,  when you first date you actually listen to what your date is saying. (BTW women listen very carefully to what a guy says in the beginning of a relationship since all that ammo can be used later on in the marriage.) And here I have to tell you that I’ve read a million books and remember none of their titles or the authors. But one guy/book said he’d done studies-must have been government funded- to show how many words a fellow had to let a woman say before he could sleep with her. I remember the wholesome gals took about ten thousand words, while hookers took two: ” Twenty bucks”.  Anyway, the point is Jed, who says I never get to one, is that Mike Murphy and Mike Petrocci both told me they’re each completely stone married deaf, which started this entire study of mine. I feel bad for them, actually I think their lives are in danger. I’m trying to save them. Here’s how:

My wife and I came to a workable solution to this marriage deafness phenomenon that never helped at all. Here’s how it goes. You line up ten or so grievances, for a lack of a better term, that you have with your aging spouse and number them one to ten. My shaving whiskers left in the sink was one of my wife’s bug-a-boos as an example. That complaint became number three. Number one was “It’s way too large,” and number two was,  ” You have too much money.” Ha, ha…not really-but never-you-mind about one and two. Anyway, with number three assigned she could simply yell out, “Number Three,” every morning and I knew what she was politely speaking about. See? Very simple. NO sense blabbering on when each partner can ignore a number just as easily.

I’d like to help you more, Lord knows Mike and Mike need it,  but one marriage trick per blog is enough. Curiously, however,  there is a bit more to talk about.

I realize ,as you must have, that this deafness is really a survival technique. I’m not talking about things like ” I didn’t hear you honey” about the wash, dinner date, laundry, dishes, clothes on the floor, her parent’s visit, mowing the lawn or taking off your work boots before coming into the house. (It doesn’t snow in Florida so I left out the whole snow-shoveling routine). No, I’m referring to survival as back in the caveman days.

History has shown that men used to drag women around by their hair as a way of keeping in touch with them. Who wants to lose track of a good woman? Anyway God, Zeus, Jupiter, Shiva, President Bush or Obama(you pick), the Devil, Shangdi or money decided that Man needed a bigger gene pool. Next thing you know men were getting tired of not hearing the same ol’ woman’s voice  and started looking for different ones they could hear. It was by way of a one or all of these religious entities that man was forced to turn a deaf ear on the woman they had and seek new companionship.

Fortunately, married men and women don’t cheat anymore so that’s all been worked out. But the deafness problem remains to this day.  It’s been like either two million years, or eight years, since the beginning of time  that man has been turning a deaf ear to their spouse.  You’d think, by now, they’d have a pill out that might cure this ongoing problem. Wait! Is Johnson and Johnson two guys or something? Anyway-good luck.

Franque23.

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